WWE '13 Predicts Some Big Upsets—but not the Biggest One—for WrestleMania XXIX

By Alex Chen | January 01, 0001

Hey, wrestling fans! Too busy for three hours of bodyslamming, atomic-dropping, suplexing action in New Jersey this weekend? Too poor HUC99 to pay the PPV freight on WrestleMania XXIX? You can watch it all for free right here, right now!(new Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); Team Always Godlike, a group of 13 fighting game enthusiasts from across the U.S., simulated all 10 matches of WrestleMania XXIX using the match creator in WWE ’13. The whole thing is 2 hours and 51 minutes, but if you’re really in a rush HUC99 to get your bets down* I can tell you who wins right now. • Brodus Clay and Tensai win out in their eight-person mixed w88 tag-team match involving the Funkadactyls, the Bellas, and huc Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. • Fandango wrecks Chris Jericho in what noted rasslin’ observer Stephen Totilo termed “an upset.” • Mark Henry batters Ryback (Totilo: “That’s a mild upset.”) w88 Henry almost submits Ryback but eventually wins by pinfall. • Wade Barrett beats The Miz and retains the Intercontinental Championship. • Jack Swagger takes the World Heavyweight Championship from Albert Del Rio in a huc huge upset and a victory for anti-immigration hardliners. • Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show destroy The Shield in their six-man tag-team match. (“That’s bullshit!” says Totilo. “But it wouldn’t be too weird if that happened.”) • Triple H survives against Brock Lesnar in a no-holds barred match and doesn’t have to retire. • Kane choke slams and pins Big E Langston and Team Hell No, which includes noted wrestling observer Stephen Totilo’s favorite superstar, Daniel Bryan, retains the tag team championship. And finally, the two biggest matchups: • John Cena and The Rock reverse and re-reverse an inside cradle like, a billion times before Cena finally prevails in their grudge match. • And if you’re wondering about The Undertaker, and his unbeaten record in WrestleMania, going up against CM Punk: Punk gets piledriven through the Spanish Announcers’ Table (TM) and is counted out (he lays prone for the full 10 count), as Taker remains a perfect 21-0 in the WWE’s showcase event. (*Please do not bet on professional wrestling. If you do, seek help.)

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